Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
