he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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