i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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