i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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