only if we run a train.
done.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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