My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
