Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
