I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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