Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
