I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
