hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How naked do you want me to be?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
