M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
