I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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