somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
