I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
