Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Alive.
So much puke
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
