Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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