its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
