So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
