I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
