I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
