yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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