Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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