I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i believe in u and ur pee
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