I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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