North Korea, Best Korea!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
