She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
