Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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