I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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