THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
