If that was your dad, he is hot
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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