I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
