I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
no you cant smoke seaweed
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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