She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
