He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
