The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
