I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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