Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
