i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
