i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
