I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
