But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
A+ Viking dick
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
