I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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