Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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