I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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