I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
