I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
