it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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