what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
