I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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